celeste reid

yeah i'll remember that next time, when you need a favor.

SO THIS IS HOW MY INTERVIEW WENT TODAY...

IT went WELL. I met everyone in the office, and toured it. At the end of the interview i told the office manager that i was really excited about the position when i saw it on craigslist and i felt like it was something that i would really enjoy. she then said, good, because when i talked on the phone with you i got a good vibe. she also wants me to come back on tuesday in the morning and sit with the receptionists to get a feel for what they do, since i have no experience in dental reception. so this is a good sign right?!??!!?!? woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

i'm not sure what's wrong with me. i always say i want something and then i get it only to realize that i don't actually want it. mostly i'm just ungrateful. but this isn't like that. it's very internalized and as much as i would have tried to make it work, it won't.

i also realized the value of a good party last night. sure all the kids there were 13 and sucked, but the ladies in my company were amazing and crazy and hilarious and that's what made it good. hooking up with people does not mean you had a good night remember that kaitlyn. you'll feel better about yourself in the morning when you wake up in liz's bed and not in your own next to some strange dude.

i have an interview with a temp agency on monday. i've been thoroughly enjoying the fall weather. i think i'd prefer to stay in october and not press on. i gave my notice at cross. my last day is the 28th. i'm going to see fiona apple in december for my birthday. thank you liz and lauren. i'm very very excited about this.

i received this message today on myspace:

Dear Kaitlyn,

I understand there's a shared fondness of felines between you and some of your peers but it has gone to far.
I believe Meow Man has targeted the Cross boutique because he senses that fondess...and Cecilia's fur. We must unite against him as two disgruntled employees should.


she's right. i think he tried to put a curse on my last night.

okay over and out.

k, it's almost 5 am. here i am once again. i can't stand how fucking restless i am. where's that remote control? i would like it if we could just fast forward to the good parts. there's a guy walking down the street. i don't know how to live life, is there a guide for that? what should i do. eat? no. watch tv? no. read? maybe. can't sleep. can't sleep. CAN'T SLEEP. at one point in my life i needed 10 hours of sleep to function properly. now i'm just like OWUOWIUEOIUROWIEURO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLOOOOOOOOOOOOO LPPPPPPPOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP look at me i slept 4 hours and i'm WIDE AWAKE! you bastard. i'd like it to be saturday at 3 pm. i would like that mucho. i hate cross. i'm itchy. my stomach is hungry. i hate people who cut me off. while driving that is. my fingies ey pudgey. my eyes burrrrrrrrrrrn. poke poke.

okay so i woke up last night, my throat was on fire, i was achy, gland swollen. i'm sooooooooooo tired. i feel like shit. i can't be sick. anastazyia is coming. can't be sick. i found some antibiotics from my previous throat infections so hopefully that will help.


fiona apple is coming here, to the orpheum, on 12/7. so maybe someone could take me for my birthday?!?!!?!??! that would be WICKED SIQUE.

here is an interview with her from npr. she talks about the leak. it's interesting. i didn't know jon brion produced the leaked stuff.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4934290


right so boo boo is here until tomorrow. i'm calling him paris and cecilia nicole. they were getting along just dandy until about 4 am when paris started shit. that little bitch.

yeah so i may be feeling fat and disgusting as of late, but you know, that's okay. i realized today, after vanessa was a complete bitch to me, that i really do have many qualities she lacks, and will probably never attain. in the words of colleen, she can be chalked up to one of the most soulless son of a bitches i've ever met. at the end of the day i'm still a warm and caring person. so the fucking ice princess can have her "maturity" and "adulthood" and her shitty job at cross and her shitty abusive boyfriend and her nicely decorated apartment and shove them down her skinny throat. i hope she gets incredibly fat someday or develops a coke addiction. oh p.s. did i say warm and caring?

i was shitfaced last night. i wrote this great thing on a piece of loose leaf paper. i was extremely paranoid apparently thinking life was some big trick, i wrote it is something you'll always remember, kaitlyn you can't, this is to we can remember, try to erase our memories, i'll remember, burned. the rest is illegible. so it was probably a combination of thinking i was keanu reeves in the matrix and winston smith. once i got really drunk, i only remember writing that and yelling at lauren that we had to remember as she was passed out in my bed. i also remember colleen making me go to bed as i yelled at her I WANNA SMOKE A CIGARETTE. i'm actually kind of afraid to find out what i did or said that made her decide i needed to go to bed. ei eiei.

all right so this girl messages me on myspace and offers me a modeling audition for her magazine. she says there are no height or weight requirements. basically she just wants pictures for the articles she puts together. i don't get paid, she just tells me for the particular article how to do my hair and make up, i take my picture or have someone else do it and email it to her. i'm wondering if i should do it. it'd be fun to have my face published i guess. then again do i really want to give my photos to a stranger so she can publish them? then again my photos are already up on myspace and people can pretty much do what they want with them from there. so my question is, is it worth it to give it a shot, or is it really stupid? http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=9935414&Mytoken=59F0C330-136D-10B5-38A6CCD303698B4563891508 thats a link to the girls myspace, in her photos she has a cover of her first issue. so yeah. i don't know if i should be creeped out or not.

yo i'm motha fuckin bleeding right now. thank god.

i miss ny i miss anastazyia.

today i'm going to reformat my hard drive, AGAIN, post my resume, and search for jobs online. tomorrow i'm going to do all my dishes and mop the kitchen floor. the i'm going to give hanananah a call. i swear i swear i swear. see kaitlyn now you have to do it because you wrote it and people will read it and if you don't do it then they will judge you. and you should because you don't do anything else!!

i feel bad being lazy but then i don't because i love it so much. no really i need to quit it.

mostly i'm just confused all of the time. i don't know why i'm here or what i want.
okay.


anyway. claire you did not tell me about the woman in cvs. i ROFLED over that. i'm too lazy to go back and post a comment.

so last night i slept for about for hours and then i woke up and couldn't go back to sleep for about 3 more. it kind of sucked and it's happening again. i'm totally stressed about this whole not having health insurance things, but i don't think that's it. whatever my computer has a virus and norton anti virus is all like "i ain't touching THAT bitch GIRLFRIEND!" and i'm all like, please just fix it, this once, for me? and then it's all like "you outta yo damn MIND GIRL." this sounds racist, but it's not, i know for a fact.

whhhhhhhat?

yeah anyway. before i leave i thought i'd share a few anecdotes from yesterday.

i went to the gap at the natick mall. i was checking out, and the sales associate asked me if i wanted to use my gap card, and i said no i'm all set. then she proceeded to push me further, so i said, no thanks i used to work for the gap. she then said, oh i don't need to sell it to you then. she asked when i worked for the gap, i told her it was last christmas in cambridge. she offered the information that they, the natick store, were hiring. i said no thank you i already have a job. she said, yeah we ALL have other jobs, c'mon a few nights, a few weekends? i also mentioned that it's like 17 miles away from my house. then she said, OH YEAH i drive that EVERYDAY. totally rude.
i felt like saying good for you, you fucking d-bag. am i supposed to feel bad for you because you obviously hate your job here and have a shitty commute? yeah good luck with your life sweetie.

moving on....

i get to work and about 30 min. into my shift this old lady comes in. lynn says, i need this sale i haven't had a sale all day, so i say hey, i don't give a shit. well actually it wasn't that crude, but whatever. so she approaches the lady who has an obvious twitch, and the lady immediately starts talking about how she's a writer and an artist who has seven children. she was completely off her rocker, divulging into he hopes that lynn herself was a writer. lynn politely said oh no, i'd like to start writing more notes and things to friends though. ten seconds later after lynn rings in her two items and gives her a total she says, NOTECARDS? YEAH YOU SAID I NEEDED THEM TO WRITE TO FRIENDS. so lynn adds some in, and then mrs. batty says, YOU KNOW I HAVE TO EAT DINNER. I HAVE TO EAT DINNER. she gives lynn $61 and lynn attempts to remove things to make that the total. long story short, she was crazy and that's my first crazy from the chestnut hill mall.

that is until...

later that evening, an old man came in. he was stout, had glasses, a long beard, and a lumberjack black and red plaid shirt on. oh he had a hat on too. so could have been santa clause, UNTIL i approached him. so i ask him if he needs help, he's looking at our inks, and says as he squints his eyes, in this high pitched old granny voice, that was NOT his real voice, i'm looking for something unique, some ink that no one has. so he's like WHATS THIS COLOR. i say it's brown. he's like okay sounds good. i ring him out, slide his card through start to put it down, he takes it, but it doesn't go through. so i say, sorry, can i see your card again, and he goes, yeah you would be sorry in a completely flat low voice. i was like WTF?????????????????????????????

people freak me out, well a lot of things freak me out. this was high on my list though. right up there with meow man, but we'll save that for another time. so let's all pray that tomorrow i can finish julia's t shirt before i see her on saturday and my weekend is smooth sailing. right, not going to happen. i hope anastazyia has liquor. i'm going to need a drink. alchy. SHUT UP. okay i'm going to eat some cookies because i'm a fatty and it's no secret. i miss my cat already. okay bye everyone, have a good weekend. don't miss me too much. ROFL~COPTER.

battah up, wicked awesome guy. so i'm like what should i do today, i don't know, cecilia just came out da box. i bet she pooped that STINKAH. she's a pissah. anyway. i'm thinking i'll go to NH because my resume is a mess, and i have no food here. but gas is soooooo expensive. i've got to get a move on because apparently my boss knows that i'm not in school anymore. SOMEBODY told her, yeah heads are going to roll when i find out. who can you trust anymore? bitches. i'm trying to think positive about the looming seasonal changes. warm blankets and sweaters and scarves and popcorn and hot chocolate and cuddling with lauren and cecilia on the futon and my birthday and anastazyia will have a long ass break mmmmmmm. yers.

today was great. i wonder if the slight differences or even the big ones are caused by development, maturity, or serotonin inhibitors. i'd like to at least think growth has had a small part. i've drank for the past 3 nights. obviously this doesn't sound mature or healthy, but i haven't gotten shall we say "shit faced" on any of these occasions. i was drunk but i controlled myself. i'm proud of myself for taking responsibility and recognizing my limit. there hasn't been any vomiting, or crying, or anger, or guilt, or downright stupidity. i'm proud that i can stand next to you and understand what i want from you, i don't crumble anymore. i don't feel that i need anything from you that you can't give me. i no longer yearn for the things i cannot have just because i cannot have them. things are slowly coming together. i have great friends, i have wonderful family. i am blessed.

officially a beauty school drop out, yes right here. i think i'm feeling much better. i'm going to get a full time job. either start school in january or next fall. school being a REAL school. someone just came home. yep. i just ate some cocoa crunchies in soy milk. i wish my little heathen wasn't so hard to get a hold of. she is sick and far away. i get sad when i picture the literal miles between us. i wanted to share my accomplishment with her, because i think she's the only person that would be like KEWLIES. i ran yesterday, a whole mile, without stopping to walk. granted it took 15 min. hi LIZ. sorry anyways, yes for some reason i see this as an accomplishment because i've never been able to do that. yes i'm an out of shape fat ass and you love it. man speaking of asses mine is sooooo sore. it's from all of that anal sex last night. JUST KIDDING ITS FROM THE RUN GUYZZZZZZZZZ! no seriously. anal sex. hey liz. yes why. you want? k. back again. so i want to run, i need someone to run with. you know, maybe like 3 times a week. oh oh and today i'm hanging out with HANNAH yes hannah from michaels who now attends massart art. i'm very excited. so michelle, sam and hannah have moved here, its now your turn. regardless we must have a reunion. yeahhhhhhhhhhh sluuuuuuuuuuuts. okay i've gotta go call the school and tell them they're sucking me dry. hey anastazyia just called me!!! SHE HATES BEES!

"
“Restoring Order” and the Media’s Spin
Surrounded by a veritable lake of sewage and dead human and animal bodies, tens, if not hundreds of thousands are homeless, without food, or even potable water in a hot, humid climate ripe for water-borne disease. Relief efforts have been even more disastrous than the storm itself, and the death count could rise rapidly in the coming days as thousands languish in despair and filth, abandoned to their fate by the very forces that are allegedly here to “serve and protect” the public good.

Instead of looking for survivors or bringing in food or water for the thousands that remain trapped, the first priority for “the forces of order” was to protect stores like the GAP from looters. In Biloxi, Mississippi, the state declared martial law to protect the casinos from survivors. Sure, there are a few folks taking advantage of the chaos to help themselves to big-screen plasma television sets they will never be able to use, but the vast majority of the “looters” are “stealing” bags of potato chips and bottles of juice from shell-shocked stores already written off as a complete loss by their insurers. Under capitalism, respect and awe for private property must be upheld at all times."

-http://neworleans.indymedia.org/news/2005/09/3993.php



vanessa and i had a breif discussion about the general mood of the world lately. she said it's in a very strange place. i don't think she's completely on top of current events, which frightens me only because she can sense that things are not right, she doesn't even have to know. i've been very aware of my own mortality lately, i think it's an overall inherent response to these events, and to feelings of imminent disaster for our country's socio-political state. where's the beef now?

anastazyia just left booooooooooooooooooooooo. yeah that's what i think of that. lauren must be having a hell of a goodbye. this is good. i'm happy for her and for vanessa because they are good people and deserve it. but i'm going to take a minute and be selfish and say why can't i get a date? just a damn date. i'm not a hideous beast, and i'm not WICKED boring. i mean i'm nuts. maybe that's it. i drank way too much last night and sat in a vat of gasoline or oil or something. i tried to get it off with shaving cream. this was on pratt st. mind you. i also got scrappy with a bunch of yeah doods and they loved it.

my parents are coming soon i dont know what to do this apartment is nasty oh lizzy poo can we do a good cleaning once everything is moved around and settled? yes you love me and i love your red red red hair you vixen. what? i don't know. anyhoo i think i'm going to go see a psychic soon. good for me. byeeeeeeeeee

these are pictures from the beginning of august. i went with ana to bard, because she was moving in, and then with jess to the cape. they are non-linear because some of the pictures are similar and it gets boring.
( Read more... )

it's interesting, the feeling of the final liberation. now what to do what to do. relax i suppose and concentrate. concentrate on the trash everywhere and the chaos you create when there may or may not be any. this is all inside my head anyway. i thought i was getting off. not today. i'm glad this boat is shared because i can't paddle for too long. my back is still sore. you are in a fabricated rut. YOU HEAR THAT? it's fake, nobody sees it, nobody can touch it, or smell it. it's not real so stop it. occasionally i wonder what comes over me. we've all got problems.

my breath is dragon-esque. mmm. i wonder how i get myself into these predicaments sometimes. well this time i just made a friend and she's got some issues. yes simply put. except it's not simple at all, it's uncomfortable and scary and violent. in the short time that i have known her i've come to love her. i want to help her but there is only so much i can do. and then theres about 50 million other things going on in my head. i can't confide in you, i can't confide in her now, and then this other person calls me like 50 times and i say WHO ARE YOU? you don't know what you're doing you say? I SAY who does? what is your recourse? i'm all out of stock.

i'm at bard right now.
anastazyia is at residence hall meeting. they're leaving now to go upstairs. i hope she makes cool friends. i said crazy things to her roommate and i'm pretty sure she loved it.

anyway, this place is like in nowheresville. i'm not kidding. there is absolutely NOTHING. well there is like an auto repair shop. okay. i compared it to summer camp. there's lots of woods and dirt roads and bugs. i washed my feet because they were sooooooo dirty.

i think i'm hungry again, and i'm definitely tired. can't wait to drive back tomorrow morning. i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that she is here now. no kidding. she's not coming back. this is not fun summer camp.
it also makes me want to enjoy the college experience in the same way. i just sprayed ylang-ylang in my face.

they're doing the go around the room my name is i'm from B.S. i think i'm going to eat her instant coffee out of the jar. i wish i had a redbull. anyway i'm really distracting myself from the fact that this is weird.
i start beauty school soon, summer is almost over for me. i have a crush. its new and tame and totally forbidden. i like bad things. this is boring and i bet you didn't read this.

i'm off to martha's vineyard and falmouth tomorrow through tuesday. i will miss my closest friend.
peace.